“It’s a terrible thing to grow old.”  He said it with tears in his eyes and a trembling voice.

I was in a mad rush to leave the country for a week.  There was a plane to catch, kids to place, luggage to grab.  In the midst of the busyness of my morning, I suddenly noticed this elderly man’s struggle.  I stood up, not really sure what to do.  “I’m sorry” was all I could say as I watched him shake for a moment and fight back the tears.  I walked over and put an arm around him, and he wept.

This precious man had come to my friend’s home because his phone was out and his wife was struggling at home with illness. There were people coming and going, being dropped off and picked up, but it stopped for just that small moment.

His words still haunt my middle-aged heart.

It always does when you feel the truth of those words every day as the body is changing and growing old, the kids are changing and growing up, the world is forever changing and growing mad.

“It’s a terrible thing to grow old.”

Is it a terrible thing to grow old or is it a terrible thing to grow old when old is no longer valued, looked after, or even cared about anymore?  My heart grieved at the thought that this small, frail man who in his younger days could protect and provide for his bride, but now stood here helplessly relying on strangers as he struggled to remember even the simplest things.

“What is her name?” I asked quietly.

“Harriet,” came back the choked up response.

Harriet.

You could tell he would never forget her name.  I tried to reassure him, but how does one reassure a man who maybe feels he is losing everything in love, life, or purpose?  This man who had walked through the blowing snow to get help for the woman he obviously cared so much for.

“It’s a terrible thing to grow old.”

Is it a terrible thing to grow old or is it a terrible thing for a society to ignore, cast off, and set aside those human beings who remind us how desperately human we all are?

Is it so terrible to remember that old comes to all?

Would we rather think about things that don’t really matter like cars, clothes, work, and closets of stuff; or all of the silly ways we entertain ourselves to death until we are numbed up, dumbed down, and no longer feel when it is truly important to feel at those small moments that really matter?

Regret will rule those small moments if we refuse to speak the words our hearts are prompted to speak by our Father whose heart is filled with so much love for His sheep.

Regret will rule those small moments if we refuse to care for the ones He so carefully places in front of us because our lives are so filled up with the cares of this world.

Regret will rule those moments if we refuse to touch while we can still touch even the oldest of skin, because skin is still skin as long as it is alive, and whether we like it or not, life is terminal for each of us — eventually.

Could it be that the greatest regret will come if we shut ourselves up and close ourselves off to each other because feeling and caring were too costly, too inconvenient, or maybe just too fearful?

“It’s a terrible thing to grow old.”

Is it really a terrible thing to grow old or maybe the most terrible thing is to outgrow your earthly purpose without thinking or knowing about your eternal purpose?  And maybe these small moments are sent to each of us to free all of us from truly terrible things.

I pray I stop missing these moments like this one small moment right here in front of me.

As I drove him back home to his beloved bride, I reached over and touched that frail, wrinkled arm and compelled by Christ’s love, I breathed out a simple prayer.  I prayed that no matter how terrible it is to grow old, he would remain the strong and courageous man that still lived and loved on the inside.  I prayed that he would always remember the sweet love and feel the sweet presence of the One who holds all of eternity in His capable hands.

For regret and age may steal the body, but it can never steal the soul. Refuse regret any rights to rule your moments, especially the small moments created to make the world less terrible.

And this time, in this small moment, we wept together.  And weeping together is always better than weeping alone.