She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:40)

I think Martha gets a bad rap in this Scripture.

Here she is trying to serve dinner (which I’m sure everyone enjoyed) and she looks to Jesus for some assistance.  Unfortunately, Jesus calls her out and instead of giving support, he rebukes her frenzied state.

I’ve got a feeling my middle-age emotions would’ve surfaced at that particular moment in a sarcastic response:

“Does dinner cook itself?  Is anyone else here thinking about what to do when Jesus is finished and this group is hungry?”

So I guess I secretly understand and empathize with Martha’s irritation in this scripture.

Before you start hurling accusations, let me reassure you that I know Jesus was right on when he called her out and called her out of balance with worry about the things in life that were not important.

I’m just saying I understand how easy it is to fall into the Martha-trap.

The school needs money for some worthy donation.

The family wants an answer about when you are available at the holiday season and “by the way, shouldn’t we draw names for each other? It’s just one gift, after all!”

There are work parties, school parties, church parties, and family parties.   It’s just one dish you need to bring.  How easy does that sound–until you multiply it by five parties?

And don’t forget the: “Hey, Mom, can we put up the Christmas lights tonight?  And when are we getting the Christmas tree?” 

Our hearts are in the right place when we start the Christmas season but it’s easy to wobble off the beaten path and crash into a place of resentment like Martha.

And listen, resentment is not your friend.

I think that’s what Jesus was calling out in Martha.  I think it was less about cooking dinner and more about the grudge of resentment that was eating at her because she was trying so hard to care for everyone and everything else that she forgot to take care of herself by spending time with Him.

And then her “self” got irritated because of it.

Don’t we do that so often? 

We put everyone and everything else above our own health, spiritual condition, and peace of mind at Christmas until we are in a quandary about so many things that are nice, but really not necessary or needful.

Our first priority is to love God with all our hearts, souls, strength, and mind and then love our neighbor as our self.  Too many times, we mix that up. We forget God and self.  We spend excess emotional and physical energy on loving others, hoping all the while that they will be impressed with us.

Usually, we just end up disappointed and resentful like Martha.

I’m discovering that my life gets so easily out of balance when my internal Martha takes off and takes over.

A few suggestions to keep your balance:

• Say no. Just say no.  You’ll be surprised how easy it is after you do it a few times.  You don’t always have to be the answer to every problem.  In fact, you may find there is someone who is a better answer with a better attitude than your Martha attitude, anyway.
• Schedule free time. It’s so easy to let everyone else manage your time and if you aren’t careful, you’ll fill every moment with stuff.  Don’t disobey God.  Love Him and love yourself, too.  You’ll find the more you love Him, the better you’ll love your neighbor anyway.  Maybe your crankiness with your neighbor is because you’ve haven’t made time for Jesus in a long while.
• Simplify your life. Will you be happier with five bedrooms, rather than three, while working 60 hours a week just to pay for it?  The point is that you can make the best of your life without all the things money can buy.  My favorite moment of yesterday was this: rolling pennies and drinking hot chocolate with my fifth grader.  Who knew the conversation and fun we could have while counting and rolling those irritating, useless pennies?
• Stop explaining yourself. I learned this the hard way.  We spend so much emotional energy defending our decisions–especially the decision to simplify our lives.  Remember the extra time in simplifying is so you can enjoy yourself.  Most people aren’t looking for an explanation anyway.
• Guard your mind.  Resentment isn’t your friend so it’s best to stop being so nice to him.  He steals your joy and your peace and all the other things that you like and that God has in store for you this Christmas.

I confess I like Martha.  If she were here today, we would be friends.  But I hope she would like me enough to tell me the truth.  Jesus was right.  We do best to keep our lives in balance by choosing what is really important.

By all means, embrace today by loving your neighbor.

But do yourself another favor this holiday season.  Make time in your life to do the necessary thing of loving God and yourself by resting at the feet of Jesus a bit this year.  It will go a long way in eliminating the resentment that can eat at you during Christmas.

And with your new attitude, your neighbors may appreciate it, too.