Their little faces pressed against the screen looking at me from the porch.

My earlier frustration began to dissolve and was replaced quickly by feelings of guilt and compassion as I tried to wrap up my phone conversation.

Have you ever been constantly interrupted while trying to have an intense or important conversation? 

If you have children, this is probably part of your daily norm.   When my children were young, they seemed to have radar that could easily detect when my attention was diverted somewhere else.

In my frustration, I had put them outside on the porch (it was summertime) and locked the door.  Probably not the ideal, supermom way to handle their obnoxious behavior but I was desperate to contain the chaos so I could finish this conversation.

Children are uncommonly good at interrupting.  As a pastor’s wife, I’ve discovered that my children can quickly make an otherwise wonderful and intimate helping conversation extremely awkward.  Even teaching them to say the usual, “Excuse me” just gave them a license to abruptly interrupt me constantly.  It only sounded more polite, but they weren’t learning the art of waiting and consideration.

So after many frustrating experiences, I began teaching my children a handy technique that helped all of us in this area without me losing my sanity, yelling like a crazy woman, or tossing them outside.  After listening to another mom explain how she handles interruptions, I decided to give it a try.

We all recognize that our children will certainly need us at times, even if we are in the middle of a conversation.  Here’s the technique:

If I was talking, my child came up and quietly placed their hand on the top of my forearm.  I put my other hand on the top of my child’s hand to let them know that I acknowledged they were there and would attend to them as soon as I could find a natural break into the conversation.  This ensures that they feel heard immediately, but it also respects my conversations with others.

Blood, vomiting, or fires were all good excuses to break this rule.

It was my responsibility is to find a break in the conversation.  Some parents make the mistake of expecting their children to wait for excessive periods of time that are downright frustrating.   Keep in mind that a younger child has a VERY short attention span.  If you keep them waiting too long, you will discourage the effectiveness of polite methods of interruption.  A despairing child will go back to being obnoxious.

Reward their efforts when they do it right and you will set them up to succeed.

My children caught on quickly.  It helped that when they forgot and interrupted rudely, they earned a time-out while I finished my conversation.  It helped reinforce the importance that other people matter, too.

How do you interrupt your conversation to deal with their rude interruptions? Be honest. It may sound like this:  “Excuse me while I attend to my children who are in need of my attention.”   My kids eventually learned that a couple minutes of waiting was much better than the embarrassment of being called out and enduring a time-out during my thirty minute phone conversation!

And never forget this important lesson: Sometimes interruptions come into our lives, disguised as irritants, to remind us of what is really important.  

I remember a day during a particular busy moment when work, life, and family pressure were overwhelming me and I didn’t have time to listen to what my 4-year-old needed.

He stopped and looked at me with big, blue eyes and finally asked, “Can I please just sit on your lap then while you work?”  Ouch.  It was an interruption I needed to remind me why I had chosen to work from home in the first place.

Our children live in the present.  They need us to spend time with them today.  With all the distractions of technology and other life obligations, it is so easy to miss moments that are specially carved out for just you and your children.

We put it off for another day, but unfortunately, that day never comes.

One day the roles will be reversed.  If I never made them feel our relationship was important or valued, neither will they value that relationship.  Then we all lose out in the end.

I don’t know about you, but I want to minimize the access regret has in my life.

Set aside the phone (especially texting), turn off the television, and put off some of the self-imposed obligations of today to invest in what will really matter tomorrow.   You may even find that their need to interrupt and demand your attention decreases as well.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is to teach them the simple principles of courtesy, respect, and self-control.  It will help them at school, on the job, or in relationships.  And really, doesn’t it make them more fun to be with?

Children can learn the art of considering others but it rarely happens by default.  Common courtesy is rare and so refreshing in our culture.

And this culture could use a good dose of refreshing.

Take time to help your children to learn the art of nice interruptions and always remember that some interruptions teach us to live and love them today before those special moments we have in the present suddenly belong to the past.