Last week I went to an estate sale.
This was a first for me. I was unprepared for the feelings I had walking through that condo touching all the personal things that this woman had collected over the years. Each item seemed to tell a story about this woman I had never met.
My thoughts kept swirling around the fact that everything she had accumulated over the years was left behind and strangers were now going through it all. Her house was clean, but it seemed so wrong. Is life just a story of wasted efforts?
Before you get depressed, let me continue. This weekend we celebrate Mother’s Day. All of us have a mother to be thankful for; whether they were good or bad, they chose to give us life. I think one of the beauties of middle-age (there are a few) is that we begin to reflect on what life has taught us and what is really important.
If you are a mom, let me tell you that you are choosing to tell your children a story. It’s not a bedtime story. And it’s not a fairy tale. It’s real and permanent. You are communicating a story to the generation behind you about what life is really about. There is no “opt-out” option here. By trying NOT to communicate, you are communicating.
Now before you let the ‘mommy-guilt’ go, stay with me. As both a mother and a pastor’s wife, I used to live under the crushing weight of the responsibility that I have to leave the right legacy for my children and spiritual children. It seemed to come with a burden of fear, guilt, and intimidation. But as I realize the realities of middle-age, I see it is more than a responsibility…it is an OPPORTUNITY.
And that changes everything.
Our lives have been instilled not only with His value (as image-bearers), but with a purpose and uniqueness. He has given us a lead role in His narrative story. There is no one else like you. No one else like me. (My family is grateful for that!) While my children may RESEMBLE me, they can never REPLACE me. I have been given a unique purpose by God for my life.
It is solely MY opportunity to take…or not. My choice.
Sometimes dangerous is the misguided dream of the “ideal story”. You know it well. The idea of what we thought life would look like. As the days of a mom (working or stay-at- home) are long and exhausting, it’s easy to become distracted by it. We can complain about our circumstances. We thought it would feel grander. And so, we spend our lives worshiping on the island of “if only”
If only I had the dream job.
If only I had more money.
If only I had a bigger house.
If only I were successful.
If only I could do something useful.
And we miss the moment God has given right there in front of us.
God has given us both the opportunity and the responsibility to pour into the next generation. YOU have a uniqueness that only YOU can bring into God’s story. Stop looking at other peoples’ uniqueness and envying it. It’s wasted energy. You have a story to tell. Stop longing for a different story. It just steals the fun of life. Pour out your unique self upon the family, the friends, and the spot of the world He has put you in.
How well we, as mothers, tell the right story with our lives will only be made evident in the refining fire of time. We can each take our moments as mothers and as an act of worship and sacrifice give it back to Him.
It can be a story of a life poured out for our Savior. And realize that by giving God control of your story, one day you can wake up a middle-age woman with few regrets and wider eyes to see the depths of His love and grand weaving that was not obvious during those early, difficult years.
Middle-age has taught me some very wonderful things. Laundry is not all that important. Your child’s success does not rise and fall on the “right” activities. Chaos can be survived, and even enjoyed. And you can have a great family without having the perfect, or even large, home.
But mostly, it has taught me that what matters most in life are the people I love and have been called to influence for eternity. All the “stuff” will be left behind for someone else to rifle through and really, no one cares how clean the house is.
But my children…I’m hoping they follow me as I follow Christ to an eternal ending of a grand story. A story that says they are valuable, irreplaceable, and called to be reconciled to a loving, trustworthy, and incredibly creative God for all eternity.
It’s my story and I’m sticking to it.